Old Flame

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Sound familiar?

New Old Flame

If so, you are not alone. And Reunion. So it's never been easier to look up and hook up with an old crush. But if you're in a relationship, Kalish has three words for you. Kalish has made "rekindled romances" her specialty. Take Amy Altschul , a year-old freelance editor who contacted an old flame after at least 30 years.

The two exchanged e-mails, then phone calls.

What travellers are saying

It was like an addiction or something. That's not uncommon, says Kalish. Old flames often rekindle, she theorizes, because a physical, chemical imprinting occurs when we meet our first love. It typically happens when we are young and impressionable.


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Kalish says her research has shown that a vivid dream about an old flame is the most common trigger of the urge for a reunion. Her subjects often interpret such dreams as a sign that they should contact their first love, but Kalish says such dreams speak to the power of those memories.

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It seems safe. Very few people expected a romance. But often, that's exactly what happened.


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Old flames meet, they reconnect instantly and powerfully, and before long the situation has run away from them. Old flames rekindling is nothing new, of course. But the typical story used to be of high school sweethearts, perhaps widowed or divorced, finding each other after decades apart. That was before the Internet. In those days, Kalish says, tracking down a lost love was hard work, requiring hours on the telephone calling old friends, friends of friends, relatives. The digital revolution changed all that. What used to take days can be done in minutes, and anonymously. Between and , Kalish says, about 30 percent of those who reached out to an old flame were married.

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No wonder it can be tough finding people willing to discuss their experiences. Kalish says visitors to her Web site often are willing to share their stories, just so long as they don't have to give their names -- even though, as a psychologist, Kalish is required not to disclose their identities.

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Embracing A New Relationship With An Old Flame

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